In this episode we discuss joining a new team and entering a new environment, as a player and a parent. Then we dive into good habits versus bad habits. Do people and athletes continuously work hard or are their habits established and automatic? We answer this question and more, tune in and enjoy! Follow us on Twitter @MorningBrushbk and join us live on YouTube every Tuesday and Friday morning at 9am EST.
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EP54 – What are Good Habits and How Can They Improve Your Life
Dan Blewett: all right, Robert. Good morning. It is officially the month of September, 2020. How do you feel about this?
Bobby Stevens: I feel like we were just celebrating the birth of 2020. In January now it’s September. We’ve done nothing. Literally nothing has happened in nine months.
Dan Blewett: I feel like September, March, like we’re about to escape though.
It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel. September is it’s. I mean, it’s the start of fall, essentially. It’s not going to feel like fall for a couple of weeks, but it will, I guess it will in Chicago, Chicago is a miserable place where it feels like fall in July.
Bobby Stevens: It feels like fall in July. And then summer, summer in February.
Dan Blewett: Yeah.
Bobby Stevens: But no, it’s not, no, there’s no light at the end of the only light is that it might be 20, 21 in four
Dan Blewett: months. Well, that’s exactly what I [00:01:00] mean. That’s exactly my point. We’re escaping 2020. This is
Bobby Stevens: awful awful
Dan Blewett: year.
Bobby Stevens: Well, hopefully, hopefully we get a little bit better. Society-wise in the next three
Dan Blewett: months that won’t happen.
Well, it could happen on November 3rd,
Bobby Stevens: November 4th. It’s going to go back to normal in one capacity or the other.
Dan Blewett: Sure. Sure. Well, welcome back to the morning. Brushback thank you for joining us. It is the start of September. What a momentous day today. We’re going to talk about habits. Uh, I think this is actually a pretty wide ranging topic.
So this might like get us through our hour today, but, uh, Bobby, you had some other topics on the docket. What do you got,
Bobby Stevens: sir? I got tradeline, uh, topics to talk about a lot, a lot of activity. Padres. The Padres are hat team right now. The Padres are like the they’re like the
[00:02:00] Dan Blewett: flavors. Yeah.
Bobby Stevens: They’re like the flavor of the month, but, uh, no.
Oh, the topic I wanted to talk to you about and it’s is joining a team mid season, not necessarily being traded. I mean, you don’t really get traded as a minor league or out that often. Or an independent guy, but you switched teams. So have you had any experience starting a new team
Dan Blewett: mid season? Well, they do trade.
They do trade people, but, and you know that, but yeah,
Bobby Stevens: as a minor degree, you don’t really experience it very often,
Dan Blewett: correct? Yeah. Uh, well, I didn’t get traded while I got traded my last, so technically the way my career ended, I was pitching terribly for long Island. And rather than release me, which would, they had every right to do. I had like a 7.4 era or something. Uh, they were trading me to their sister team, the Bridgeport bluefish, which are like in last place at the time.
That’s kind of what they did. They would just like take good players from Bridgeport. Cause they’re [00:03:00] owned by them. The same parent company. When they needed them and they’d like, send them up to long Island, they would like get rid of their players. They didn’t want, and they’d send them down to Bridgeport.
We all knew that was true. So I didn’t not deserve to go there. Like it was fine, whatever. But, um, I hadn’t led on how bad my shoulder was. So when they told me I was being traded and when Bridgeport called me and was like, arranging my travel, I was like, Hey, just want you to know my shoulder’s pretty messed up.
Uh, I haven’t led on as much as I maybe should have, but. Just cause I’m like a typical athlete and you know, not making a fuss about stuff, but I’d really like to get healthy. That would be wonderful if I’m getting a fresh start here. So maybe we could talk about that. And then they like quickly call the Duck’s back.
Like, Hey, we don’t want him. Trades off. So we’re good here. Then I was just out of a job I was released, uh, which was also fine. Cause I wasn’t about to go to a new team and just continue to do the same thing I’d been doing. Cause I had, I [00:04:00] had been pitching terribly and I needed a change and a change of scenery without changing the situation wouldn’t have been good.
So I did need to get healthy. Uh, but I actually did get. So I didn’t get traded. I joined it the Fargo red Hawks in 2011 mid season because my, the team, the team, I started the season with financially collapse labs. And so, uh, we were all just like basic are our ships sunk. So we were all growing away, but my team was 20 and 10 at the time.
So everyone wanted to get players from this team. So I signed with Fargo. And I joined them and it was a nerve wracking situation. Cause they were like excited to get me at a three nine era. I had been a starter. Um, I’ve been pitching well, they were down to four, a four man rotation. So like, Hey, this is great.
Blew it. Like we’re going to, we’ll pay for your travel. Like stop it hotel. Like keep all your seats. Like we’re excited to have you or three in the rotation. It was the first time in a long time for me. Cause I was a no scholarship kid in college the first time in a very long time that anyone [00:05:00] like wanted me.
I was like important to them. So I was feeling it was, but you know, it comes with that Bobby
Bobby Stevens: expectations.
Dan Blewett: Yeah. Hi. Yeah, pressure. And so on, in general, I always keep quiet with the new team until I do something. I don’t feel like I’m gonna like knock down the door and just act like I own the place and act like, you know, really comfortable.
I, I think there’s, uh, something to be said for. Earning your stripes, improving your teammates that you belong there, even though your resume, obviously like your resume does that too. So you shouldn’t have to prove yourself everywhere you go. Like Mike truck has traded, he doesn’t need to prove that he’s Mike trout, but he’s still probably, you know, like you’re almost in someone else’s home for a minute until it becomes your home.
But as it happened with me, I just didn’t pitch well. And so that, that pressure kept spiraling and getting bigger and bigger, like after one outing that wasn’t good. Then after a second outing, that was poor. Then after a third outing that was poor, [00:06:00] then, you know, a lot of stuff just kept getting worse where I was very aware that I just like my new teammates probably thought I wasn’t.
Worth a darn. And, uh, that’s difficult because you’re coming in mid season. They know you’re doing it. They have, again, like you said, they have expectations. They’ve seen what you did prior. They expect certain things out of you. You try to live up to them and then you put more pressure on yourself and then you try a little bit harder.
And when you try harder, anything you get way, way worse. It, so it’s, this is a inverse relationship between trying hard and being good. And, uh, it’s really tough. So, you know, the more you do it just like anything, the more you get, it gets easier, I think. But, um, yeah, it’s tough. Um, and of course, that’s just, I’ve only done.
I’ve only had that one, so I’m sure lots of other guys who’ve been journey men. Who’ve been treated multiple times. You get trained under different circumstances. You know, like if it was me leaving long Island going to bridge floor, who probably would have been a very different [00:07:00] feeling because. Hey guys.
I had no to lose. I had a terrible season. I just want a fresh start. Like, feel relaxed. I’m out of that place where I was doing terrible. It’s like, you’re escaping something rather than right. You know what I mean?
Bobby Stevens: So I, something good?
Dan Blewett: Yeah. So I think, I think it depends on the context and just like anything, it just gets easier over time because what you don’t want to do is what I did, which is succumb to expectations and, and put more pressure on yourself.
Because it doesn’t help anything.
Bobby Stevens: So I want to relate it a little bit to youth baseball if I can. Um, yeah. Well kids that kids that bounce from team to team, and it’s funny because I talked to, like, I talked to our head coaches and our youth head coaches, our dads and their wives, obviously sit with the parents normally.
So when players like change teams often, you know, you’ll go from. Your team at nine, you new team at 10, your new team at 11. You like, not only do [00:08:00] people know that, but it’s also like for the kid, which is why like neighborhood baseball is still kind of a thing you said when the kids were younger, like that’s nerve wracking.
Okay. I see it. And I also get your feedback as someone who runs a program, like yeah, I’ve gotten multiple, multiple times. There have been parents being like, yeah, we don’t really feel welcome on this team. You know, the parents have kind of have their cliques. And I would say it’s probably more parents than the kids.
Like kids are friends with everybody. They don’t care. They just, they, whoever you put them in front of, they’re going to play with hanging out
Dan Blewett: with,
Bobby Stevens: but for the parents, it’s like you, you joined a new team. You essentially walk into a new quote unquote locker room. Of parents that you kind of have to infiltrate, like they’ve got their, you know, these moms hang together, these dads are down the sidelines talking together, you know, there’s the group of dads.
I’d probably bring the cooler, like how do you infiltrate that? So it’s kind of, it’s funny dynamics as someone who’s on a who’s like overseeing a lot of it. [00:09:00] To, to see new parents join a group of, of like an established team or a group, a core group of kids. Cause you usually do have a core at each age group that moves up and down together or, or one of those core players.
That’s like all of a sudden, not probably good enough to be on that top team. So you move them down and the parents are like all upset and then. That’s when I get calls like you can do you really have to move down, Joey, like, you know, he’s a good kid. His parents are great. It’s like, nah, Joey, can’t be on this team anymore.
Sorry to break up your friend group. But I see it more with the parents, which is actually kind of funny. Like you’re experienced walking into a new locker room. That’s what I picture, not having kids, having a child, moving them to a new team or like transferring them to a new school.
Dan Blewett: Yeah, I think infiltrating friend groups is probably the wrong word.
I don’t think you want to infiltrate your way into places. I think you want to, you know, just fold yourself into those social circles
Bobby Stevens: is a role it [00:10:00] in there.
Dan Blewett: Um, but yeah, infiltrate with a paintball gun. That’s uh, that’s how you, you do
Bobby Stevens: that. That’s the that’s that’s the, I need to give a visual for those just listening.
You have to walk right up to a core group of 10 players on that, on your new 12 year team. And you. Push everybody aside and jump right in the middle of that
Dan Blewett: group. Make new friends. Exactly. Um, yeah, I don’t know. I mean, just like anything else. I mean, I think it’s wildly known that it’s easiest to make friends when you have commonalities and.
I think even, even as, as a parents trying to like get into the new parent, click on a new team, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s really that hard to be honest with you. I, of course I don’t have kids. I’m not trying to do this, but can it really be that hard? I mean, you’re on the same baseball team, Candace go stand there with the dads and just like start chit-chatting like your kids on the team, ask them about the coach, ask them about tournament’s it seems pretty easy.
I mean, as far as like social interactions go, you know? Yeah.
Bobby Stevens: I think it’s tougher when. [00:11:00] You’re joining like an established core group of kids or core team and all of a sudden your team or your son is on the team. And maybe, you know, Joey’s, dad’s best friend’s kid just got the boot from the team. It’s like, there’s going to be some resentment there, like they’re kids, but they’re one of their kids’ friends, no longer with the team.
And it’s not by his choice. It was that he just wasn’t good
Dan Blewett: enough or. So
Bobby Stevens: I could see it being, I could see a trickling down to the parents. I just, I mentioned that because I had this and I had this with a specific family and they kind of, they met multiple times throughout the year. They’re like, Oh, we don’t feel welcome by the parents.
We don’t feel welcome. And I’m asking the coach and I’m texting him. I’m like this, you know, so-and-so, doesn’t feel welcome with the team. And he’s like, I don’t know what he wants. We invite them everywhere. We have team parties. He’s there. Like, what does he want us to do? We’re a doc. And his kind of his thing was we’re adults.
It’s like, you can be an adult with us or you don’t have to be an adult with us, but it’s joining a new team as an, as an [00:12:00] adult. Yeah. You kind of like tip toe around the clubhouse and you. You try not to cause a waves, especially if you join a good team. Like, yeah. So we brought this up cause Mike Clevenger got traded to the Padres, which is a pretty big
Dan Blewett: deal.
Bobby Stevens: If you’re the Padres, you’re making a splash, like you’re trying to go for it. And my Clevenger is walking in there as an established, you know, big leader, like a good pitcher. He’ll probably jump to the top of that rotation. So, you know, as you come in guns blazing, like take over the personality of that team.
No, he’s probably gonna try and mesh with what the personnel of that team is. And you don’t want to be the guy that disrupts that because they have something good going. So it’s different when you’re a pro athlete, especially when you’re a hired gun to take the team to a level that, you know, they wouldn’t previously have gotten
Dan Blewett: to.
Yeah, no, that’s fair. Uh, I mean the dynamics are always different and you never know, like teams, they really do vary clubhouses really do vary [00:13:00] and personalities and it can be dictated just by like a couple of dominant players, especially on a smaller team, like 12 players. You know, you have a couple of clicks of four.
You know, there’s not a whole lot left after that. So, yeah, I don’t know. I mean, in a baseball dynamic, obviously, like you always sort of break up by your position because you spend the most time with those people and pitches are way smarter than position players. So it’s hard to be around those idiots that much, it’s just tougher to be around them and their knowing.
And they like have bats everywhere,
Bobby Stevens: but they have too much equipment for you.
Dan Blewett: Yeah, it’s an equipment issue, but you know how it is. I don’t know. Cliques are interesting. It is. It can always get close. I don’t know. I have a problem with kids picking their travel teams based on their friends. I think they sh I think too often kids go where their friend group goes without making it a form decision about whether that team is actually good for them.
Right now. Sports are about having [00:14:00] fun. So. That should be a consideration. Like if you really just want to like, have fun and play ball through your closest buddies and that’s great for you. So be it, but for kids that are really serious, who are like, yeah, like I really want to get a college exposure and I really want to do this and I really want them, like, why are you chasing your friends down this team where your friends don’t feel that way?
And your friends are kind of trash or baseball and you’re really good, but yet you’re still like doing what they want you to do, right? Like those two things, conflict, you know, if you just want to, if you’re on those same level as your buddies, like you’re all really serious high level players, great state stay together as a group.
That seems like a good fit. But sometimes there’s a mismatch of intentions among players who are really close friends. And I don’t know, it can kind of be like a drag you down situation.
Bobby Stevens: So I wanna, I want to transition before we talk about habits. Cause I had this discussion with a player and I want your, I want your take on it.
[00:15:00] So we’ve got a really good 17 new player. Um, and I’m talking to him about myself, another coach talking to him about his future. Like where’s his future for college
Dan Blewett: and
Bobby Stevens: he’s uh, he’s our shortstop. He’s a good shortstop. Not the best hitter. Uh, haven’t gotten good feedback on them hitting I’ve shit. We’ve shared that with them, uh, for college.
So like his ceiling for college as a hitter is probably junior college. Even some of the dethrones don’t want them as a shortstop. However, they really want them as a pitcher. He’s pro he’s a pitcher that touches 90. Like he’s, he’s a high level pitcher, but he doesn’t want to focus on pitching. So we’re having this discussion and he’s going into his senior year of high school.
Um, And I tell him, I said, look, what are your goals? Like any study wants to play professional baseball someday. I said, okay. I said, that path is as a pitcher. I said, if you’re going to play, it’s going to be as a pitcher. I said, so if that’s the goal, I said, your habits, like [00:16:00] what you’re doing to meet that goal by splitting time doing both.
I’m like, you’re not like, you’re what, you’re not gaining ground towards the end game. So, I guess my question to you is, do you have it, what do you, what advice do you have for someone like that for a kid who’s who’s in limbo. Like he wants to do both still he, but he’s clearly excelling at one more than the other.
And he has aspirations to get to this place where you can’t split your time and try and master multiple skills.
Dan Blewett: I mean, it just comes down to what he wants. Like, if you want to be a D shortstop or if you want to be a D one pitcher, that’s a, that’s a very distinct choice. I mean, when kids says I want to play pro baseball, I don’t think, I don’t think they mean it in the sense that I just want to play it in any position that will take me.
I don’t think that’s really how they mean it. Typically they see themselves as like the shortstop on a mine field. Right. If they’re a shortstop. Right.
Bobby Stevens: Well, he said he sees himself, like he knows he’s acknowledged [00:17:00] us. That pitching is like, that’s where his, that’s where his future is. It’s like, we got him to admit that like, as parents, we’re on the call where, you know, we’re stressing this, you know, you have a future in pitching.
If you want it, you know, you’re going to be, you could be a big time arm. He does have a great arm. Like kid’s got an absolute cannon for an arm and he’s never focused on pitching he’s. No, he’s double digit strikeouts. Every time he goes out there, right. It’s efficient and works fast. It’s got a good feel for, for the mound.
So I just like, as, so to segue into habits, like, like his end goal is to play professional baseball and we kind of mapped out what position that would be yet. All of his actions leading up to trying to get there don’t match. Like they’re not on the same path. So it’s like the conscious. The conscious effort to attack what you’re good at versus attack.
What you’re passionate about, which is playing shortstop and being like a high school shortstop. So I would sign the stress that to him and kind of [00:18:00] segue into what we’re going to talk about here in a minute is like, you’ve have a goal. You set a goal that you’re trying to reach. What are you doing to obtain that goal?
They’ll be like, you’re not doing anything to obtain that goal as far as like I would, I’m concerned on in this specific
Dan Blewett: scenario. Yeah. Well, I think one of the things to remember in this specific case is that he’s probably emotionally. Like mourning his career as a shortstop a little bit. The way baseball has been his whole life.
I mean, there’s like a period where you’re like, man, I don’t get to do that anymore. Like, he’s got a year laugh. Like he probably wants to save her. It, he probably doesn’t want to stop hitting now because he only has a year left of it. Right. So I think there’s something to be said for that, that, you know, you can say, all right, well I’ve only got a year to go, like let’s continue to hit and have fun and milk it while I’ve got it.
I don’t think that’s wrong. Do you.
Bobby Stevens: I don’t think it’s wrong, but it’s when you’ve, when someone has a C like we took extra time with [00:19:00] him. Cause when someone has a ceiling that’s much higher than a normal prep athlete. Like if someone’s going to
Dan Blewett: top out as a device,
Bobby Stevens: three division, two player and not play past that, whether it was positioned guy or a pitcher, like yeah.
You’re probably gonna mourn it and, and see, you know, feel like your career’s coming to somewhat of an end. But when you’re a guy who’s got a potential to play past
Dan Blewett: college,
Bobby Stevens: and guys are stressing that to you. Like, Hey, you focus like college is not the end game for you. Like you could play past, like, I just, then I would think your competitiveness would kick in and you’re in like your want to, to reach that goal with kick in, especially when you emphasize like maybe he was just lying to us.
Right. Like maybe he was just saying. He, yeah, he wants to play professional baseball and he knows it’s gonna be as a pitcher, but maybe he’s just saying it because we’re saying
Dan Blewett: it
Bobby Stevens: and he wants to just say what we’re saying.
Dan Blewett: Like,
Bobby Stevens: you know, reiterate it back to us. And it’s not what he actually wants,
Dan Blewett: which is okay [00:20:00] too.
I mean, yeah. People do it all the time. They’re like, yeah, yeah, you’re right. You’re right. You’re right. I hear you with the get out of here, mate. Well, they don’t, they’re just not ready yet. Like again, like who knows if this gets ready to. To get rid of that because it’s not just switching positions. It’s like him realizing that his childhood dreams of playing shortstop, but the next level just like are not happening.
Right. So, I mean, it’s a major, it’s a major pivot, you know, like, I don’t know. I think some, I think a lot of guys will just, when they realize it’s like, say you graduate college and it’s like, Hey, here’s a contract. Cause they’re there. Do you want to keep playing or do you want to go into the workforce?
You know, for like a third basement, that’s a little easier. It’s like, all right, well, let’s go, let’s go. Cause otherwise I’m getting a job at a bank. Um, but in this case, it’s kind of like a little more voluntary where some players do turn that down and they say, no, I’d rather be happy and play shortstop in college or play the outfield.
[00:21:00] Um, I can’t think of an example, but I know we’ve had at least one player do that. Where they just like, I just don’t like pitching
Bobby Stevens: yeah. More context. There’s more context. One of the, which being like cost of college is a, is an issue. Any he’ll have scholarship offers as an arm, whereas he’s got nothing coming in as position guy.
Like there’s, there’s more obviously details. I’m just talking about like the overarching. Idea of what this player is saying that he wants to play professional well, baseball he’s identified at what position he would be a professor. So baseball player yet, we’re not doing anything to try and get to that goal.
Like we’re not creating any cabinets to try and get to that goal. We’re not creating any structure to try and climb the ladder to that goal. We’re just saying it out loud. You know, that’s like me telling you, you know, I want to be a college graduate, but I never attend class in high school and I don’t try and get good grades.
And. I don’t even apply to college. Like, okay, well, you [00:22:00] gotta do a few things before you just want to, for you to just graduate college to kind of get to that point. So that’s like the, that was the overarching theme. Is what are you doing to reach this goal? Or are you just spouting out goals without having any plan to get
Dan Blewett: there?
Well, again, I mean, obviously the end of the day, it’s gotta be intrinsic motivation from him if he’s going to be worth it. Anyway, he’s not going to just drag his feet through college, into pro baseball as a pitcher. Like if he wants to be that good, then he’ll end up having to put in the work himself.
Right. You know, which means being internally motivated. And, uh, if he just really hates pitching, then he just, you know, he’s just gonna. You have to drag them down that path and, you know, kicking and screaming, or I’ll just quit after freshman year. Because when you, when you convert to pitching and then you’re a freshman at , you get shelled a lot and you suck.
So then it’s not fun at all. And you’re like, I hate pitching. [00:23:00] And in the first place, now I’m getting shelled and I’m not even good at it. I hate even more. Maybe I should just be a regular student. And that happened. That happens too, because pitching is hard in college. And just because you throw 92, doesn’t mean you get anybody out.
There’s a lot of guys in college now there’s more guys individually than, than ever who throw 90, who can’t get anyone out, like never get it out. They’re terrible. Terrible pitching. So that fate is there too.
Bobby Stevens: All right. So let’s segue into, into our main topic today. Habits creating good habits.
Dan Blewett: Uh, so I put together this little poll and I think this is so I’ve been I’ve.
I listened to a book on habits six months ago called atomic habits. I thought it was okay. A short read. It was kind of like a. I don’t know what, I don’t know who this guy is. He’s not like a research or anything. He’s just like a dude. And he had like a blog about habits and then he had got a huge following somehow.
And he was like, Oh, I guess I’ll write a book about habits. And it’s like five hours long. So it’s like [00:24:00] informative and whatever. I think it’s fine. The one I just finished is called good habits, bad habits. And it’s by an actual researcher. Um, now I want to say actual, it doesn’t mean like you have to be a certain thing to write a book.
Certainly don’t um, and I think Tommy habits is a good read, but, uh, I liked this one more. It had a lot more research and it was kind of more wide ranging, more of the underlying things that build habits and human psychology and why we do the strange stuff that we do because humans are really bizarre robots.
Um, So anyway, one of the topics, like why do we, and why do we not do things when we intentionally do that, want to do them? Like, I want to get out of bed in the morning and go for a run every day, the day a lot of people have that thought, but yet they don’t really follow through on it. A lot of people we’ll have lots of really, really strong intentions.
Like they really do want to quit smoking and they really want to do lose weight. They really want to be a pro [00:25:00] baseball player. But like the habits just don’t get built and like the work just doesn’t get done. So I put this poll on Twitter to the hardest working athletes, consciously strive to keep working harder, like really strong intentions or have they established great habits that make putting in higher workloads, automatic and consistent.
Which one would you vote for? Robert?
Bobby Stevens: I voted for establishing. Establishing
Dan Blewett: habits. Uh,
Bobby Stevens: great establishing great habits on your
Dan Blewett: pole. And I am in the midst.
Bobby Stevens: I am currently in the majority,
Dan Blewett: but
Bobby Stevens: we still have 23 hours
Dan Blewett: left thus far in the 40 minutes has been up. But yeah, and that’s, that’s pretty much what the book says, which is the basically like when you talk about people that.
You said for certain habits, they take longer or shorter to, to, to get going. And like fitness is one that typically takes about five weeks. And she said most of the people that are like the most [00:26:00] fit that you know, that, um, are constantly working out. They’re not spending a lot of mental energy actually trying to get themselves to do it.
And, you know, like maybe like the first five minutes of their morning, Iran is kind of tough in the last, maybe five minutes is kind of tough with the middle parts. Like not really tough. They just like do it. And, and the getting it done in general becomes not very hard over time because they’ve built the habit where they actually don’t spend much conscious energy maintaining it.
So you still like, Oh man, you’ve run every day for 30 years. Like my dad has my dad’s run every day for like more than that, like 45 years. Although he doesn’t actually, I should eat. He ran everyday for like 30 or 40 years. He doesn’t run every day anymore. He runs like three days a week now as a, as a 70, 73 year old.
Um, but you started thinking of it, like how did you have the willpower? Yeah. Do that. Where really what the research says is that. Once you build a strong habit, it doesn’t take much mental energy to do it. Just like it doesn’t take any mental energy to brush your teeth in the morning. Right? Like you just [00:27:00] wander out of bed as a zombie.
You walk in there, you turn on the faucet, that’s a habit. You like, all those things are just like automatic. Sure. Um, and so that’s an interesting way to think about all this stuff where if you’re a parent or you’re an athlete or your coach. It’s almost like, how can you help your players become more robotic and really build the habits that way we’ll help them get to greatness rather than like everyone trying to motivate and like rah RA, because it’s, it’s, it’s mentally overwhelming to be fighting yourself to try to lose weight every day.
Or to try to get your batting practice in or try to like, do your pitching drills. Right. It’s like mentally exhausting, like to be like going through your day. And you’re like, all right, I got to find time to do my pitching drills. I got to find time to do this. Like, I’ll do it at four 30. No, I’ll do it at six there.
I didn’t, I didn’t do it. Six. I’ll do it at seven. I’ll do it at eight I’ll do before I go to bed. Like that’s, that’s what, when people feel really bad about themselves, including myself, like all of us do that, right? Like I’m going to do this healthy thing today and you keep putting it off because it’s not a habit yet.
And by the end of the day, you didn’t do it. And then the next day [00:28:00] you don’t do it. And then you just like, man, like I want to make this change, but I can’t right
Bobby Stevens: now. Yeah, no doubt. But if these like, establishing like good habits, like that is very, especially from the onset, like using, working out kind of like exercising example, like you don’t see the immediate benefit of work of like exercise day one.
Like you feel it, like you feel good, like I’ve never gone to the gym and felt like, man, that was a waste of time. Even if the workout was bad, like doing anything is better than doing nothing
Dan Blewett: but true.
Bobby Stevens: The, the establishment good habit part because we are, we want immediate gratification on everything as, as humans.
Like you’re not going to see a six pack after one 15 minute abs session.
Dan Blewett: At the gym
Bobby Stevens: like you, Oh, you need to continuously do this habit and start to see results. Like, it’s actually nice to like when you see not nice, but [00:29:00] just like you see people post their progress on, on their social media and stuff like that.
Like, that’s a good way to keep yourself motivated and continue to establish good habits. Like whether it’s exercising or eating healthy, but as someone not as people who want immediate gratification, It’s hard to establish those good habits when you don’t see anything like on a one off
Dan Blewett: day,
Bobby Stevens: like I don’t just go bench, press and all of a sudden have a bigger chest and I can do 400 pounds.
Like it needs to be a consistent habit over time. And like you said, dude, you put the, we put those habits off and put those, uh, put those daily routines off because they’re not habits yet. It’s like you fight that internal struggle and it’s, it’s more mental. I almost
Dan Blewett: feel like. Um, yeah. Then anything else?
Well, and that’s what I think sometimes people think about high achievers. Like you think of like, uh, of like the late Kobe Bryant who talked about how, like, you know, outwork, [00:30:00] everyone be there later and all that stuff. And that’s true. Like the desire to like stay late after practice and stuff like that.
Those aren’t necessarily habits. They’re more like attitudes, right. And like, I’m not ready to go home yet, but at the same time, Getting up in the morning, every day and getting in a workout or getting up and reading, or just getting out of bed faster. Like any of that stuff, which all applies today during COVID times.
Cause everyone just wants to stay in bed and just hope that it’s 20, 29 and 2021, but maybe like 20, 22 is safer. I’m not even sure 2020. One’s going to be better yet. No, it’s not sure there probably like a hoard of snakes or something, but. Yeah. So the, in the book, atomic habits, he kind of talks about how to make behavior change and it kind of breaks it down to we’ll see is like four things.
So number one, make it obvious to make it attractive. Three, make it easy and four make it satisfying. And then sort of like the opposite is true for other things. So for one example is, and I know a lot more people [00:31:00] are doing this. Now, if you want to get off of Instagram or Twitter on your phone, what’s one thing you can do to make it hard rather than easy.
Bobby Stevens: Leave it on your phone,
Dan Blewett: leave it off, leave the app. We’ll leave the app off your phone. Yeah. To make it harder. Right, right, right. And make yourself log into the browser and enter a password and all that stuff to go into it. That just creates friction. Right. It makes it hard to do that. So for example, like leaving your phone in a closet and sort of like having it next to your bed, if you don’t want to check it in the morning and waste 15 minutes in bed before you get out of it.
Yeah. Stuff like that. Um, Making it obvious or like putting things in like one great example is there’s been a lot of studies about food where people would just eat the thing that’s closest to them eat more fruit, like get, literally get a fruit bowl and put it on your kitchen. Like make it the most accessible thing.
Like how often do you have something in your, in your fridge that you don’t remember? Is there? Cause it’s like kind of hidden, like maybe it’s something good. Like I remember I’ve lost a [00:32:00] steak every now and again, that I’ll buy. And it’s like, I just put it like underneath, and then I forget that it’s there and it’s not just forgetting, but it’s just like, you’ll eat the quickest thing.
That’s easiest to grab a lot of times. Right, right, right. So if it’s out of sight, out of mind,
Bobby Stevens: the friction part, it makes a ton of sense. Right. And it, it, it applies to a lot of things. And one thing that I, I, I talk about with a lot of kids, like when we’re talking, you know, If they’re who they’re going to play for or stuff like that, like programs like off the thing about leaving, like are talking about let’s, let’s say high school, because I have this high school conversation with every eighth grader.
It’s okay. You guys all like you want to go to let’s, you know, private school, a will private school, a is seven minutes from your house. That’s going to make it a lot easier for you than private school B, which is 35 minutes where you’ve got to take the train to. Like think about the amount of things you’re able to accomplish at private school, a being so close, [00:33:00] having accessibility, as opposed to private school B, which might have a better, let’s say reputation as a program, but you’re gonna have to spend, you have to plan your day out a little bit more.
It’s not going to be easy for you to get to and from school. Um, honestly that was my going to high school. Like that was my biggest. Uh, debate, whether I go to the, that was two minutes from my house that wasn’t as good at athletics and academics, or I go to the school that was downtown Chicago. It’s taken me almost an hour to get to, but number one, baseball school, coming out, coming into high school, really high academic school.
And I chose, I actually chose a school five miles from my house. Great. Obviously looking back on it, I would do it again, but the friction. Uh, just having over just the multiple layers of things you have to go through just to achieve the same, essentially the same thing of, let’s say, just working out after school.
It’s so much more friction when you’re, when you add in all those factors. Friction is [00:34:00] a really good word for, for what we’re talking about. I think,
Dan Blewett: well, and it’s big into software design in general. Like one of the examples in this book of good habits, bad habits was Uber. When they designed the app, they wanted you to literally just be able to open it.
It knows where you are. You push one button that doesn’t even ask you. Like wasn’t even supposed to like tell you how much it costs. Just like push a button. And like someone comes, comes and gets you. And there’s a lot of stuff that does that. Amazon has so many things to make it less friction. Like one click buy, like all that stuff.
It’s very easy. Um, but your example is a good one. And like, I, I grew up my back fence. I hopped it, which was like an eight foot fence. There was friction. Uh, I put hot my back fence. There was a JV baseball field of a private school. So I would hop that fence and we would, I’d just be like, be playing baseball 30 seconds later with my dad or a friend or whatever.
We’d be hitting fly balls and made it super easy. And, and a prime example. This is why I defend city life. And of course, like everyone, I [00:35:00] am outspoken that I, I, I detest living in the suburbs. I just like, I, I didn’t know when I was in college. What I. How I wanted to live. Like you don’t know. And then as I, uh, I lived in central Illinois and I had them to do that community in general.
Um, I just don’t like suburb life. I don’t like being in my house. I don’t like being on the couch. I don’t really like watching TV. And when you live in the suburb, you have like this safe, comfortable life, which is fine. Again, I’m not judging anyone else’s choices, but my own. Um, but you have to get in your car to go anywhere.
So if you want to go obviously to get any sort of Aaron done, you have to go in your car. But also if you want to just like go sit in a park for 45 minutes. Yeah. Under tree and like read, you have to get it, your car and do it in most cases. Right. If you want to exercise, you have to either run down, jogged on your street or, um, and not ovary.
You know, neighborhood in the suburbs is, is like really jogging, conducive. It’s like maybe a really boring job, or you can only do like the same route or there’s a major highway or, [00:36:00] or whatever. Um, and then if you want to go to the gym, you have to get in your car to go to the gym. Do you want me to grab some, the grocery story of getting your car at the grocery store?
Whereas in the city I, everywhere I want to walk, I can walk to it park for 20 minutes and it like makes sense. Like you could walk somewhere for 20 minutes and come back home or stop somewhere for 20 minutes and then continue on home. But you would never do that in real life. Like you would never get in your car and drive 15 minutes to sit in a park for 20 minutes to then drive home 15 more minutes.
Right. That would like people don’t do that. So for me, that’s the lifestyle that I want. Like I walk 30 ish miles a week. I really enjoy it. It’s like one of those little things. It just, I feel, I feel you can do a lot more things that are less of a commitment in a city. And so there’s less friction to do all those little things.
And then walking is healthy in general, even when I was on vacation with my family two weeks to go there, this nice Lake house cabin that we were at, um, it wasn’t, there were no trails there. Oh, like on this little plot of land, it [00:37:00] was just like the Lake and like pretty heavy forest and then a very dangerous main road, like kind of far out.
So it wasn’t even very joggle. And then there was no gym anywhere close to actually, if you like lived in that Lake house, even though it’s like beautiful in the woods and nature, it’s not very fitness friendly, you know what I mean? And so if you started thinking about like, if I wanted to, if I moved to that Lake house, for example, it would be legitimately difficult for me to keep up the same, like.
Amount of fitness and like healthy lifestyle that I currently sort of have where I work out three or four days a week and walk a ton too, just like the friction of it. And I think that’s suburb life is really common in America, obviously. That’s where everyone aspires to be. And I think it contributes just to being sedentary because you have to get in your car to go anywhere to do fitness things.
For the most part, obviously you can jog down your development. I’m not saying you can’t, but it’s like less. Walking in and running, it’s like less stitched into your life. So, yeah, I mean, I’m a city [00:38:00] guy,
Bobby Stevens: I’m a city guy. So I empathize with, uh, with your sentiment to everything being centralized in the city.
Uh, I Al I just, I mean, there’s, there’s multiple reasons to like living in the city. There’s obviously tons of reasons like living in the suburbs, people do it all the time. Um, the city just, I mean, personality wise to say just makes more sense for a lot of people. I think.
Dan Blewett: Yeah. And it doesn’t, it doesn’t make sense for others.
Right?
Bobby Stevens: For sure. We’ve got a comment on, on your Twitter poll from local college coach. He says, I feel like when guys are the hardest worker in the room, they know no difference in my experience with working with, with these kids, they don’t seem to let it be known. They work hard,
Dan Blewett: they just do it. I would agree with that.
Joel. That’s totally comment. Yeah,
Bobby Stevens: totally. But is it so as someone like you’re working with college athletes and if Joel still. Still on with us. Maybe I’ll jump in and answer. Um, you know, if you’re working with college athletes, you kind of have those [00:39:00] habits established already when you get to college normally, and then some guys will, maybe some guys will feed off of somebody else’s habits or having some guys love an infectious personality where they, where they will put habits into you.
Cause they do it. Um,
Dan Blewett: but
Bobby Stevens: I think he’s, I think he’s spot on that.
Dan Blewett: It’s
Bobby Stevens: not like, Oh, let me show you how good of habits I have. Like, that’s just, that’s all they know. Like they’ve been ingrained with that for so long. And it’s, it’s second nature for a lot of those guys.
Dan Blewett: Yeah. And without, without tooting my own horn, like that was my reputation on my college during the five years that I was there.
And I, I wouldn’t have said that. I liked thought anything different about, I didn’t think I was like, I was mentally consumed with being a pro player or, but really, I just, I don’t know. I just showed up when I did my thing. I felt like my effort level was just higher than some, like during practice or during conditioning.
But then after I’ve established a lot of things, like, I just didn’t go back to not running. Like I would just run three days a [00:40:00] week on my own. And like, I would get out of bed and go work out on the weekends. Like when we didn’t have team workouts, like they weren’t things that, like you said, they weren’t things that I thought about doing.
I just did them. Right. And like I did pitching drills in my house most days of the week. And I did my arm care, you know, like four or five days a week. For like my whole 18 to 31 when I retired and you don’t think much about it, like you just do it. And a lot of times it sucks and you’re like, are very conscious of how much it sucks, but you just kind of like do it.
So, yeah, I think
Bobby Stevens: too, some of it, I think too is just the, like, I don’t want to say that it’s, that it’s borderline psychotic, but it’s like, some guys are so competitive that. Everything they do. It’s like, okay, well, I’m going to be the best at this and that. And then those like their habits. It just seems maybe for Joel’s team, he’s got guys like that where they, like they get in the weight room and yeah, that’s all they know is to work hard and try and be better and get stronger than you.
But it’s like, it’s, it’s all, it’s [00:41:00] just the mental. Like they, they attack everything. That’s put in front of them as if like, okay, I’m going to conquer this as opposed to, this is something I have to
Dan Blewett: do. Like there,
Bobby Stevens: it’s more of a, like a, I wanna, I don’t want to say like a total mindset, but it’s, it’s definitely like the mindset of, alright, well, I’m going to get stronger today.
Like one of the way, right. I’m going to get stronger and say, as opposed to, I’ve got 6:00 AM lifting. Like I need to show up like, Hey, you need to show up, but you can also get something out of it, but if you want it and you can reach, you know, new goals, new Heights, whatever. It’s definitely a mindset aspect and you see it a lot.
Like guys go through the most, like people go through the motions, like your life is so structured. Like I have school from eight to three, I’ve got practice from three 30 to five 30. I eat dinner at six. I do my homework. I play a video game. I go to sleep like there’s so structured where there’s no like that.
You just almost drain your whole
Dan Blewett: body
[00:42:00] Bobby Stevens: of competitiveness of any kind of motivation. And it reflects in your habits. Like you just kind of run with whatever. Whatever’s the next thing. What’s the next thing I have to do.
Dan Blewett: Yeah. Well, and it’s, it’s funny. Like foods are really interesting example. I, so I eat a lot of it.
I eat a lot of fruit. And I generally eat healthy. Like I, it’s hard to compare your own eating habits to other people. Like, so a lot of times I feel like I’m not eating that healthy, but I’d say compared to like most Americans, which is a very low bar, um, I typically am, but I am very aware. I need to eat more vegetables because they’re the most friction full.
You have to cook, you have to cook them essentially, right. Vegetables. You can’t grab like I, how he, this a watermelon before we went on air,
Bobby Stevens: um,
Dan Blewett: I love watermelon, but fruit is great. Cause you can grab it and you can just eat it. I mean like the vast majority of varieties, right. And they’re different depending on the season, I’m just like a fan of fruit in general.
It’s a [00:43:00] very frictionless, easy thing to eat. Um, so we’re in like, you know, carbs are relatively easy to cook. You can throw a pot of rice on whatever, and it’s like, you got it for a couple of days, but like vegetables have a shelf life. You don’t tend to make them in massive quantities. They have to be, it’s just like, it’s, it just takes effort.
And for me, that’s where the bottleneck is where I made broccoli last night. And I was proud of myself, even though my apartment smelled like broccoli until the, even this morning. Um, but it’s, it takes conscious effort for me right now to say. And so I’ve been thinking, how do I get, how do I make cooking vegetables?
Like a zombie motion in my daily routine. That’s like a big question. Cause it’s not like it’s, it’s a hard, I actually like broccoli. Like I like Brussels sprouts. I like asparagus. I like most vegetables, especially actually, when you put like a little bit of effort in and cook them, just even with salt and pepper, like, I’m not that hard to please, like, I don’t have to cover all my vegetables and like, [00:44:00] Ranch dressing for them to be palatable.
Honestly, like the stage is set for me, like taste-wise to like make vegetables apart in my life. I ever eat them at a restaurant or I say ever, but anytime someone’s made me a dinner, like I go home, my mom cooks, or my sister cooks and there’s like plates covered in vegetables. It’s like, this is great.
Like it’s never a meal that I don’t want to eat. It’s just the friction of cooking. It is the only thing, the only reason that’s not consistently in my diet. So the question is Bobby, how can we trick me? How can we get me into zombie mode to make more vegetables? I honestly
Bobby Stevens: think you’ve got to find your local, like to find the closest buffet and just, just go there.
I mean, that’s, isn’t that the beauty of buffets is that there is no friction. You can just. Like my plate can have prime rib and an ice cream sundae on it. Same, same time.
Dan Blewett: No. Sure. I do Ms. Golden corral, just crushing food in college and then feeling terrible and spending time in the bathroom afterwards, but
Bobby Stevens: absolutely terrible afterwards.
Dan Blewett: Well, I [00:45:00] think some of it go ahead. I’m
Bobby Stevens: sorry.
Dan Blewett: I was gonna say, I think some of it is a portion size for me, so I like Costco has a huge three pound bag of broccoli of like broccoli florets, fresh. Not, they’re not organic, but it’s a great deal. It’s like $5 for three pounds. And I would buy that and I would waste the whole bag.
I wouldn’t even open it because I would see it. And I’d be like, it looks like so much work to cook all that properly. That’s what I mean by the other day. Yeah. I got a, a one pound bag, which is like this big at trader Joe’s. Organic broccoli is like not expensive either. And I knew that I could throw the whole bag in the pot, which is what I did last night.
I have to think about it. I just cut open, dump the whole bag in my little pot and steam. And it’d be like two days worth, which I about half of last night. Well, you know, broccoli cooks down a lot and I think that’s part of it for me, just like seeing portion size and feeling overwhelmed. It’s like hemorrhages, it’s dumb to feel overwhelmed by a bag of broccoli.
But I think that there’s something to that where it’s like, it just seems like [00:46:00] so much to get through all of that. I got to eat all that before it expires. Yeah, I have to, I have to unwrap it and then wrap it back up. That’s laziness. But at the same time, I feel like if I, if, even if I just got that big bag of broccoli and portioned it out into three sub three smaller Tupperwares, and then I say, Oh, I’m going to see one of those.
I can just throw that in the, in the steamer today, that’s easy. And that’s like a reducing that friction. So, um, I realized we’re getting off of baseball talks, but I feel like a lot of the struggles that both you and I have with. Habits are probably ones that our listeners are struggling with too. So feel free to throw something in the comments if you’re listening, um, because all of us struggle to eat healthy foods.
And it’s not that we don’t. I think most people like the vegetables, they get at a restaurant, which are not that hard to reproduce like little olive oil, a little butter, a little salt and pepper, whatever, you know, you made it home. It’s just, it’s just the effort. And making that effort easy and consistent that
Bobby Stevens: habit we’ve talked about this in the, in the past, like the Wegmans and them in the grocery stores that now have [00:47:00] like the hot food, like when, whenever I’ve ever gone to those, like vegetables have been the staple, right?
Like they’ve got cooked broccoli, they’ve got cooked cauliflower, they’ve got cooked carrots.
Dan Blewett: Like, yeah,
Bobby Stevens: I’m piling those into box
Dan Blewett: along with
Bobby Stevens: whatever piece of chicken or whatever ended up, you ended up eating, but. Like, there is no friction there it’s all made for you. So then you’re, you’re making better choices.
I mean, granted, they do have like the fried chicken, the chicken wings, the, you know, they have like a Chinese, a taco bar, like yeah. That stuff is appealing, but
Dan Blewett: it’s less it’s taco bar is that a taco does sound great.
Bobby Stevens: Yeah. That stuff is appealing when you’re driving and when you’re driving down the street and you’re like, what do I want for dinner?
Do I pick up. Tacos at the local standard. Do I go home and make broccoli and carrots? Yeah. You pick up tacos cause it’s easier. Right?
Dan Blewett: What is Joyce big I’m shocked tacos or go home and make ugly carrots. [00:48:00] Yeah. That’s why people don’t eat vegetables. Cause that’s
Bobby Stevens: but when you go there and it’s already made, it’s like, okay, this is all going to take the same amount of time.
I know this is eating better. So I’m gonna eat it. Joel says had me recently. No, thanks Joel. He says, if you’re trying to convince everyone in the room, you’re working hard. You’re taking time away from actually working hard and it’s yeah, you’re posturing, right? Like you’re posturing for everybody. When in fact just go do it.
Everybody notices like
Dan Blewett: everybody knows who the best player on the team is. Anytime you’re on
Bobby Stevens: a team, anybody knows hardest working guy is on the team or at least the group of hardest working guys. Like everybody knows. Who’s the most responsible guy, like who shows up first to clubhouse. Everybody knows who’s working out every day.
Like these aren’t secrets, everybody knows who’s wasting talent, which is another thing. Like every, everybody looks into the locker room and sees like, man, this guy would just do this. He would be so much better than he currently is. And why doesn’t he do that? Like, it doesn’t make sense to someone as an outsider, looking at somebody we’ve all played with this [00:49:00] guy.
Dan Blewett: Like if
Bobby Stevens: this kid would just do anything more than he’s doing, he would be a big leaguer and he would be, you know, an everyday, all star, like you just, it just doesn’t, it’s, it’s funny that it hits other people that doesn’t hit that specific person
Dan Blewett: and it’s, and it’s habit
Bobby Stevens: based. It really is habit based.
Dan Blewett: Yeah. And that’s, I guess that’s where I was getting at is so say you take that guy who wastes his talent, which we’re going to, we all have had teammates that are like that and you say, okay, well, let’s just find a way to build the habits that he needs to be. A harder worker. Does that actually work though?
I mean, it doesn’t override a lack of intrinsic motivation, does it? And that’s the thing. Cause you really that’s what you think of you think of a harder worker on your team as having a more intrinsic motivation and more self derive, then the people that don’t work as hard, but then again, and so then that drives that drive what it takes to really get over the hump and build habits.
Like, like for me right now COVID has been, um, [00:50:00] Good and bad for me. It’s been good in the sense that I’m now overcoming hurdles that like got so bad that, um, They had to change. So for me, I think I realized that over the last couple of years, I probably have the same level of phone addiction that every person has, probably not more or less like, you know, I was still obviously like are wrote a book in 2000, um, 19.
Like I I’ve, I do a lot of stuff, so it’s not like, obviously crippling me, but. I probably had the same moderate amount of like constantly picking up and checking my phone, you know, not feeling, you know, feeling sort of anxious, which is so embarrassing. One of your, like, you don’t have it on you or you can’t be like afraid to be without it.
I had all that same stuff. And then a COVID it got worse to the point where I was like, I can’t even focus on writing when I have free time. I can’t even focus on this or that or the other thing I could feel it finally, it finally got worse to the point where it was like, this has to change. And now it’s changed dramatically in the [00:51:00] last month, which has been great.
And if it hadn’t gotten that bad, I would’ve still probably be at the same moderate level, which was definitely impacting me negatively, but I wasn’t to the point where I needed to change. You know what I mean? A lot of times you have to hit rock bottom to actually make a change. Sure. So
Bobby Stevens: happens more often than not.
I feel like.
Dan Blewett: Yeah. And not like rock bottom for me. It was like, you know, in a dumpster in the alley, like with my phone, but it was just the point where, like I said, I couldn’t, I’m like, all right, I have a bunch of times a day. I’m going to work on my book. I just couldn’t focus. I was just like picking up my phone.
I’m like, just do it. And it’s like, nothing. Like, I don’t even like social media. So that’s been the fact that I got there has been a good change. And that’s why some of this stuff, like I just finished that book on habits actually last night. And just trying to like, think of, okay, how can I continue on this positive trend and keep going in the direction that I want.
And Bob being not phone dependent is it’s glorious. [00:52:00] It’s so it’s like, it’s still getting better. And it’s still, I’m still finding things to put in that time, but honestly, it’s like nice when you stop thinking about it where you’re just like, I can stare at my food while I eat it in silence and it’s okay.
And I think, and stuff like, I think, you know what I mean, you lose that. People are like constantly trying to like, like I was in the Apple store, uh, really briefly yesterday. And, um, I picked up my book and like I looked around and I was like, Staring at their phones, staring at their phone, staring at their phone, staring at the phone while we’re waiting for our genius port person appointment.
I’m like, I’m not doing that. I pulled out my book and I read like six pages, which ordinarily seems stupid. Like I like to like, kind of be doing something consistently for a long time. Not like read a book for five seconds. Yeah. But I did, I didn’t know how long it was going to be. So I ended up reading like six or seven pages and like the short time that I was waiting.
And I just was like, this is building a habit. I’m not picking up my phone, I’m [00:53:00] picking up a book instead. And that’s why I did it. Um, so just like stuff like that, that’s been a positive.
Bobby Stevens: I mean, I, yeah, I was definitely, I was a late adopter to the smartphone, like significantly late adopters
Dan Blewett: where we made fun of you.
I remember this
Bobby Stevens: all the time. I had a flip phone and I would. I would go back to it, honestly, if I didn’t have to, if I don’t have to answer emails and have access to information, right. Then
Dan Blewett: I smacked my water bottle, very filled with water and it wobbled and that’s in the fall. What a wonderful day it is.
Okay. But if
Bobby Stevens: I had, if I didn’t have to do I have like the code and honestly, when I do leave my phone in the car, or if I’ll go, go work out, I’ll leave my phone. Like, I won’t even use it for music. It’s so much nicer. Like I just, you come back and there’s like, you don’t realize how much in like your three, four or five text messages in over 45 minutes at deem respond to two of ms.
Calls, like [00:54:00] seven emails that came through. But it’s, you know what, like. Everybody can wait. Like nothing is that urgent normally, I mean, my wife is pregnant, so nothing is necessarily that urgent.
Dan Blewett: This is my current book. The, when I was reading in the Apple store, it’s called do nothing by Celeste Headlee.
Um, and she’s talking about the workweek, I guess like the first half of it is, uh, how we’ve gotten here, where we feel like we work all the time. All of us, humans is a terrible, didn’t used to be it didn’t used to be that way. And we actually don’t work as much as we think we do apparently. Um, but we make ourselves miserable.
Right. Which is true, which I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last three years or the last three months. And the downtime away has just fostered a lot of thought about what is meaningful to me and what I think. And I look at other people and wonder if they find meaning in their lives at all.
And then the jobs that they do thought a lot about this I’ve been watching. Can [00:55:00] I share a really interesting experience my morning yesterday? My morning yesterday was fascinating.
Bobby Stevens: Where were you? It
Dan Blewett: was fascinating and I’m and understand there’s not a drop of sarcasm in this story. It’s just a, it’s just.
So don’t take this as me, like picking on this, this homeless guy. Cause I’m absolutely not. It’s not how I mean it’s so yesterday I got up at six 30 as I did today and I, the first thing I did. Was leave my phone here. And I went for a walk and of course, yesterday I actually was out the whole day. So I took everything with me.
So I walked to Lafayette, Lafayette square in DC, which is, they actually just finished the, uh, the fence in front of the white house. So actually it was great. You can actually see the white house now from Lafayette park, which you couldn’t before. When I moved here back in September, um, they had this big white thing cause they’re doing new fence instruction.
They’re actually finishing an now, which is great, which is cool. You can see the white house again. Um, So anyway, so I’m in the park and I’m sitting there, I’m reading this book and it’s like seven 30. It took me a half hour to [00:56:00] walk there. And, uh, so maybe like 10 minutes in a homeless guy walks by. He’s probably my age or a little younger.
And he just like sits down on a bench near me. And then after a little while he gets up and he just lays down the grass just like lays on his back. And then another 10 minutes goes by and a guy walks by in a revolutionary war, uniform, caring, caring, or, or pulling a cart with a electric piano on it. Okay.
Oh, okay. Fair enough. You know, any wheels it over in front of the white house. And he starts to play the piano and it’s like really, really loud. And he’s like, legit. I mean, he’s always playing, but it was impressive. He’s playing the piano. Like he was clearly like a, somebody on the piano back in his day or still is, or whatever, but either way, he’s got like this long, long blonde beard in a revolutionary war uniform, just playing the piano towards the white house.
And there’s almost guy gets up and he, [00:57:00] and he looks over me. It has this big smile on his face. And of course, like, I didn’t know how to interpret a smile, but anyway, he walks over the way over that way. So like pretty far away from now. And I just watched from afar for the next 20 minutes as this guy, just like essentially ballroom dances with himself, just twirling around listening to this guy, playing piano.
And again, I’m like the mental illness of homeless people is it’s a really tragic thing. And I, I walked by and I think about homeless people a lot. In a sense that I I’m, I just like have a lot of, uh, empathy, not empathy, but compassion for them. And I’m looking around the community and I’m actually, uh, going to volunteer for a different thing later today.
But, um, so I’m not, I’m not pointing out this morning because it was like this like ha thing. It was not, it was just like, I, I, as I watched this guy dance to this revolutionary war piano, man, I just wondered. Is [00:58:00] this is this man, like, even though he’s got some sort of mental illness, is he happier than most of the people in DC?
Honestly, like now is he
Bobby Stevens: happy percent?
Dan Blewett: And these will that have of 5,000, $10,000 a month apartments that have this job that ultimately, maybe doesn’t contribute anything to the world. Like does this, this guy who’s just for, for half an hour, just dancing, just with genuine joy that there’s music playing in this park and Lafayette park is beautiful.
Lafayette square. It’s like really green right now. And really nice. I don’t know if it’s called Parker square it’s Lafayette square. Right? I think so, but that, but that was my thought. And that’s the point of this story? It’s again, it’s not like, like there was no, no, no. Part of me was laughing at this man.
It was just looking around and wondering. As smart as people are. And as much technologies we have and these important jobs, these like self-important jobs that we have and the money that we make, like what does happiness mean to people? Because again, at that moment, he was the happiest [00:59:00] guy in DC, whether he had a mental illness or not, that’s, that’s who he was at that moment happier than I was happier than probably most people wanting to that park happier than the man in the white house.
That’s for sure. Debatable.
Bobby Stevens: How about, so when someone makes a big change, right? Like someone gets a new job, someone decides to move. You said one of our, one of my best friends just moved to Wisconsin, sold their house. They lived in the city of Chicago, moved across the border. They’re like, they’re only like an hour away, but they moved on three acres and it was a lot of had to do with what’s happening now.
Like everybody’s locked down, like her and her husband are just like, we’re out. Like we’re done with this. She’s like I can work remote. He travels for work anyways. And we saw them this past weekend at a wedding, like a small wedding, like 30 people. And we’re talking to them like, Hey, how’s it new house?
And you’re like, Oh, we love it. And then, you know, instinctively, like the question I always ask is, are you [01:00:00] happy?
Dan Blewett: Like,
Bobby Stevens: did you mean a good move? Are you happy? And it was like a resounding absolutely. I couldn’t be happier. And I think you, I don’t think people ask that question enough,
Dan Blewett: like Dan, you
Bobby Stevens: moved from Bloomington normal to D you see, like, how was it?
Are you happy? Like, yeah. You, I mean the overarching sentiment I get from it, you made a good move. Like you’re happy in the decision you made. Um, and there were stops along the way between that obviously with you,
Dan Blewett: but it’s a, you
Bobby Stevens: know, people’s someone starts a new job and instinctively, like my head’s like, well, are you happy?
Like. Is this something you want to be doing or is it just a bigger paycheck and which is fine, like money does help too. In the grand scheme of like being happy. Like it allows you to do things, make you happy,
Dan Blewett: but yeah,
Bobby Stevens: nobody really asks like that. Like you said, that homeless guy and you see a lot of people that don’t have a lot of money, but there’s there.
Extremely happy,
Dan Blewett: like,
Bobby Stevens: and content with where they’re at and they [01:01:00] enjoy their life and they make the most of their life. I mean, I’ve got friends that don’t have the highest paying of jobs that travel all the time and they live very modest modestly, and they couldn’t be happier. I’ve also got friends and we probably both well people that make, you know, six figures close to seven figures that are miserable and they hate their jobs and they cannot stand their life right now.
And they’re not happy. So, I mean, uh, you know, it’s, this guy is, is me, you know, debunking that you need everything in life material-wise to be happy. Like, yeah. I mean, I would love to go dance in Lafayette park and out of a care in the world, instead of answering an email or a text message or scheduling a, you know, makeup game or something like that.
Like that sounds like a very stress free lifestyle.
Dan Blewett: I mean, it just was a, it was just an interesting moment at an intersection of a lot of thought on just like happiness and like what [01:02:00] people want out of their lives and like what drives people and what should we spend our time on and what is the role of leisure?
And that’s one of the interesting things about this book is, um, we, uh, we all y’all have. I think more than ever, we have this idea that our time is tied to money. And that’s one of the points in this book that I, that I enjoy hearing about, which is true for myself and for others that when you’re not doing something productive, quote, unquote, like essentially wasting money, that’s like a moderate, that’s like a modern thought, you know?
And, um, it’s an interesting, uh, I dunno. It’s an interesting thing to think about and how that shit, and then how that shapes your lot and your life, you know, like going back to your laptop at 11:00 PM. Right?
Bobby Stevens: All right. So let’s tie it. Let’s let’s end on this. Let’s tie it back into habit. So if you have to give one habit that you currently do, that makes everybody happy, that makes you happy, that you think that would benefit other people.
Like what’s the one thing you would. You would advise let’s let’s, let’s tailor it [01:03:00] to younger, like younger athletes. Like if you can go back and tell your 15 year old self start creating this happen, it’s going to make you a lot happier.
Dan Blewett: I really think it, I think it’s not one thing I think it’s, I really do think it’s disconnecting from technology because when you feel the silence again of your own mind, you start to find ways to fill it.
And whether it’s thought, whether it’s like, you know, I want to, you know, how many of us like used to have little habits, like little crafts that we would do or little things we didn’t like people used to collect baseball cards, like people, I love collections and do little arts and crafts and create art.
I used to weld in high school and work on cars. Um, things that got replaced by things are more productive, quote unquote. And of course I still a lot of the things that I do personally, like I, I like making YouTube videos. I like writing. Like when I have free time, I’m, I’m eager to sit down and work on a book, even though it’s hard.
It is physically difficult to like, get some of that stuff work through on page. Um, [01:04:00] and that all that becomes easier. And you start to like find out what your creative outlets are when you just have this like time and silence. And even like, I’d say, one thing that I do that I would recommend is just, just like wander around without music or a podcast or an audio book playing.
And I’m like the King of audio books, but at the same time, I walk more these days without any, anything flowing through my brain, just silence. And it’s nice to hear the city to hear my own thoughts. And yeah, you fill that time with your own thoughts, which is good. You start to think about more stuff and that’s, so I’d say without being preachy about disconnecting from your phone, just find more time to like have silence flowing between your years.
What do you got?
Bobby Stevens: You stole my thunder. I was gonna I’ll add off well that and read, just read, read something, read
Dan Blewett: anything,
Bobby Stevens: you know, use your brain. So like read the newspaper, pick up a book, read an art. Even if you’ve got to do it on your phone, [01:05:00] like read don’t scroll don’t scroll Facebook, don’t scroll and scramble and scroll Twitter, read something, read an article.
You know, it, the bigger overarching one is put the phone down, like enjoy something, active crit, find something active that appeals to you that you can do. And it’s fun. And it’s an, it takes you away from the money, not any of staring at a screen. I mean, we’re both currently staring at electronics and telling people not
Dan Blewett: to,
Bobby Stevens: but to the irony of that is funny to me, but it’s, it’s true.
Like we don’t. What you said makes total sense. Like, let you get away in your own mind. Like you want to want to be creative. You want to, you know, you wonder how all these other creative people, aren’t the ones sitting in the cubicle, like typing away. They’re the ones that are letting their mind wander a little bit, like seeing a problem,
Dan Blewett: solving
Bobby Stevens: it, you know, just turning the phone off and like going outside and experiencing like [01:06:00] what’s happening around you.
So I would. I would, in addition to putting the phone down, I would say, find something active that engages you and run with it. Whether it’s a sport, whether it’s just an exercise activity, walking, maybe it’s just going for a walk, do something that disconnects you from what does that set? A set of dentures?
What am I saying?
Dan Blewett: Sedentary,
Bobby Stevens: sedentary lifestyle and get active. Get moving. This is why you’re here, Dan vocabulary.
Dan Blewett: This is why we’re here. That’s why we’re here. You know, you don’t mind your favorite vocabulary, not sign a new vocabulary word, but I feel like it’s crossed my mind recently. A bunch ambivalent.
It’s just a good word. Why? I don’t know. Just, it feels good. Rolling off the tongue ambivalent. It’s a weird, there’s not many words that have, like, I don’t know.
Bobby Stevens: Anyway, there’s not many words that just roll off the tongue, like ambivalent.
[01:07:00] Dan Blewett: Nope. All right. Well, thanks for being here. We will see you here on Friday on the morning, brush back.
We do have some guests, uh, in the works for the future. Maybe we’ll have one Friday. Maybe we won’t tune in. We’ll see. Be sure to leave a review for us on iTunes or Spotify. We would appreciate it and, uh, recommend the show to a friend. I’ll be any last word.
Bobby Stevens: No, for the, for those still listening, go outside.
Do something active
Dan Blewett: today. Do something active. All right, we’ll see you next. Uh, next time in the morning, brushed back. See ya.